In true David Letterman fashion, these are (comical) statements said to grape buyers by growers while walking through vineyards in California.  In a buyers’s market, these things should never be said:

10. I think this is Cabernet Sauvignon, and I think this is the block. (grower was not sure of variety or location)

9. These are the best grapes in the county.  (no grower has ever grown less than perfect grapes!)

8. This isn’t sunburn, its ripe fruit. (white grapes can turn amber with ripening but buyers usually know the difference)

7. I have great wine samples from this block that I made myself. (vineyard wine samples can either make or break a deal….grower homemade wine usually breaks a deal)

6. I’m looking for the highest bidder for my grapes. (This line never works!)

5. I just planted some old vine Zin. (I have always said, if you can actually plant old vine Zinfandel, you’d make a fortune)

4. Raisins mean it’s ripe and ready to go. (now a days, in the winemakers mind, wineries need high sugar to make good wine but, high sugar means raisining, which means less weight, which means less dollars/ton….not a good thing to say.)

3. Winemakers that don’t buy mildew grapes are lazy. (winemakers say the same thing about growers that have mildew)

2. I never use a Broker. (this is blasphemy…I think it’s in the bible)

1. I don’t care about the money. It’s all about the quality of my grapes! (It is ALWAYS about the money….this should never be said…….)

Brian Clements
Vice President/Partner